


Malcolm's Nightmare

by Kalkasar (Mordhena)



Series: No Turning Back [6]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Humor, M/M, Metafiction, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar
Summary: Malcolm has a very, very bad dream! (and it's hilarious, I hope!).
Relationships: Malcolm Reed/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Series: No Turning Back [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916815
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Malcolm's Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> **  
>  Co creator: Sue C   
>  **
> 
> * * *
> 
> This little piece of nonsense grew out of a running joke on the ENTSlash Yahoo Mailing list and was a means to lift the mood during one of KalKasar's long whumpy angst fest stories. It is blatantly Mary-Sue'ish but not really a Mary Sue as the self insert is definitely NOT the hero of the piece. It is also somewhat MetaFiction since the story is aware of itself. I hope you'll give it a chance. Trust me I don't want to be the hero in my own stories. Ever!
> 
> * * *

Malcolm Reed slept fitfully in the arms of the Enterprise  
Chief Engineer, and in his subconscious, havoc had broken out on board the  
ship...  
  
  
Damn! Pink, fluffy bunnies rampaging around Enterprise, Malcolm in  
hot pursuit. He fell back in horror as a bunny slowly transformed  
before his eyes - growing taller, fur darkening to black, sharp pointed teeth  
appearing. The bunny sat back on its haunches and casually stroked a paw over  
its 'Queen of Mean' t-shirt. It looked Malcolm straight in the eye.

'Start running, Lieutenant,' it growled. 'You've got a ten second start.'  
  
Malcolm hesitated for a moment. I can't run away from a damn  
rabbit, he thought. Trip would never let me forget it.  
  
The dark bunny rattled its claws against the deck plating  
impatiently. 'I'm at four and still counting,' it said. 'It's so much more fun to  
take down a moving target. I do hope you're not going to disappoint me.'  
  
Malcolm gave up worrying about his reputation and ran. One last  
backward glance before he rounded the corner left him with the disturbing  
image of an evilly grinning black rabbit, light glinting off its shining incisors.  
  
Rabbits, he thought desperately as he ran. What hates rabbits? And  
do I really want to see the fox that could tackle a five foot tall rabbit?  
  
As he rounded the corner, still looking over his shoulder, Malcolm  
was sent sprawling to the deck when he collided with someone.  
  
Looking up, with an apology on his lips, the Armoury officer  
blanched.  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"Yes, my darling... you know me, don't you. I am the stuff of your  
nightmares. How would you like another return trip to Surrumar?"  
  
The woman, clad from head to foot in a flowing black satin cloak  
threw back her head, tossing red tresses over her shoulder as she burst into  
gales of Maniacal Laughter. ™  
  
"The Queen of Mean!" Malcolm scooted backwards trying to edge away  
from her until a taloned paw fell on his shoulder.  
  
"Where's your beloved Engineer?" The black rabbit snarled. "It's  
time we all paid _him_ a visit too...wouldn't you say?"  
  
Malcolm knew exactly where his engineer was, but he'd be damned if  
he would tell the evil incarnate currently towering over him.  
  
'And you'll be damned if you don't, my dear,' she said, laughing at  
his surprise. 'Had you forgotten? I created the Surrumaran, so  
naturally, I have all their powers. I know your innermost thoughts and desires,  
Lieutenant.'  
  
Malcolm blanched. Surely, she couldn't know about the...  
  
'I do now!' she purred. 'But if you're a good boy and let my sweet  
black rabbit gnaw at you for a while, I won't tell your fans.'  
  
'To hell with the fans,' Malcolm gasped. 'Just don't tell Trip.'  
  


'Oh, you won't need to worry about what Trip knows. Not for much  
longer anyway.'  
  
That was when Malcolm noticed that the rabbit was missing.  
  


* * *

  
In Engineering, Charles Tucker the III was spending yet another  
sleepless night dealing with the latest round of mayhem created by Alien  
visitors.  
  
He ground his teeth in frustration as he tried to nut out the cause  
of a plasma imbalance. He'd much rather have been curled up in the too  
small and deliciously too cramped bunk in his cabin with his sexy lieutenant.  
Tucker sighed. It was no good dwelling on what might be. If he got this  
problem sorted out fast, he might still get a chance for some snuggling  
before his next shift started at 0800.  
  
The sound of claws scrabbling on the deck had him straighten so  
suddenly that he cracked the back of his head against a bulkhead.  
  
"Cap'n you know Porthos is not allowed down..." The engineer's eyes  
widened with shock.  
  
"That's gotta be the biggest damn bunny I ever saw!" he  
muttered. "Now just how the hell did you get in here?"  
  
Tucker didn't like the look of those claws, and those glinting teeth  
were not real pleasant either...but that was nothing compared with the  
glowing red eyes.  
  
The engineer swallowed hard and reached for a sonic wrench. "Get on  
outta here!" he shouted waving the wrench menacingly. "Go on now!"  
  
The rabbit took a lolloping hop towards him. In any other bunny it  
would've been cute...in this one it was just plain freaky. Tucker backed away  
holding the wrench out defensively. "You stay away from me!"  
  
The rabbit didn't seem to notice, or for that matter, to care. It  
advanced until Tucker was backed against a safety rail and then it sat up on  
its hind legs and leaned in towards Trip, saliva dripping from its fangs.  
Suddenly the door to engineering opened and a voice that Trip didn't  
recognise, but which nevertheless struck fear into his heart, rang out.  
  
'Stop right there, you naughty little bunny!'  
  
The rabbit pulled back with an angry hiss. It pressed a paw against  
Trip's chest and, with a sinister rabbity smile, murmured, 'soon, my  
precious, soon.'  
  
Trip turned to see who the newcomer was, and was surprised to see  
Malcolm with a woman. He was even more surprised to see Malcolm with a  
woman who had long red hair and who was wrapped in a floor-length black cloak.  
  
'Malcolm, who are these...things? What the hell's goin' on?'  
  
'Oh, Trip. This is the...the...' Malcolm took a grip on himself.  
Then, deciding that probably wouldn't help the situation, he let go and  
pulling himself together, continued his explanation. 'She's the Queen of Mean,' he  
blurted out. 'I'm so sorry, Trip. I'm supposed to protect you, but she just  
appeared out of nowhere. I didn't have a chance, and now I don't know what's  
going to happen.'  
  
'So, Ma'am,' Trip said, figuring that if you're addressing Evil  
Incarnate it pays to be polite. 'What _is_ going to happen?'  
  
'Well?' The Queen of Mean turned to the rabbit expectantly.  
  
'You're asking the damn rabbit?' Trip exclaimed. 'Don't you know?'  
  
'Of course I don't know,' the Queen of Mean said in an irritated tone of  
voice. 'No one knows until the plot bunny bites!'  
  
'Bites?' Malcolm squeaked. 'I don't like the sound of that.'  
  
'You're not the only one,' Trip muttered, taking a stronger hold on  
his wrench as the bunny hopped towards him again, licking its lips.  
  
"Malcolm! Do somethin!" Tucker yelled as the bunny opened his  
salivating jaws and loomed ever closer to him "The damn thing's gonna...aiiiioooooowwww!"  
  
"I can't marry you!" Malcolm cried, and then clapped a hand over his  
mouth as he stared at the mean queen in horror.  
  
"Ya what?" Tucker rubbed his arm where the rabbit had sunk in its  
fangs. "I didn't hear ya!"  
  
"I said I can't marry you," Malcolm groaned, "But I didn't mean  
to... I ... I mean I... I don't know _why_ I said it!" Reed glared at the black clad woman and took a half step toward her. "What's the meaning of this?" He demanded. "Why can't I marry Trip?"  
  
"You'll find out in the next exciting instalment," The red haired  
woman said as she vanished in a puff of smoke that spelled out three sinister  
letters:  
  
**T. B. C...**  
  
  
'Hey, come back,' Malcolm shouted. 'You haven't answered my  
question.'  
  
'Malcolm! I'm in pain here. There's more important things to worry  
about than your damn question.'  
  
'But I want to _know_ ,' the Englishman protested. 'Why can't I marry  
you?'  
  
'Because I haven't fuckin' well asked you,' Tucker snapped. 'And  
I'm not likely to either. Just call Phlox, will ya, or help me to sickbay?'  
  
'Not likely to... What about our relationship, all those things you  
said? I thought you loved me...' Malcolm faltered as he saw the expression  
on Trip's face.  
  
'Loved you? Relationship? What the hell are ya talking about,  
Malcolm?'  
  
'Ahem.'  
  
The polite cough drew the attention of both men to the large black  
rabbit still fastidiously cleaning Trip's blood from the fur around its  
mouth.  
  
'What're you still doin' here?' Trip demanded. 'Why don't you clear  
off, like your boss?'  
  
'She's not my boss,' the rabbit said. 'I thought we'd established  
that. And, if you're interested, I may be able to help clear up your  
confusion.'  
  
'Please, be my guest,' Malcolm said, rolling his eyes.  
  
'You're from different chapters,' the rabbit explained. 'When we  
came into engineering obviously Ms. Mean Queen forgot to check the timeline.'  
  
They looked at him blankly.  
  
'In the story. You're from different chapters? Quite clearly the  
lieutenant is from a later chapter than you, Commander.'  
  
'Are you saying I'm from the future?' Malcolm asked.  
  
'Not exactly,' the rabbit replied. 'It's rather complicated.'  
  
'Where's Daniels when you need him?' Malcolm muttered.  
  
'In Captain Archer's quarters, I expect,' Trip said.  
  
'What?' both Malcolm and the rabbit exclaimed.  
  
'Yeah. He and the cap'n've been going' steady for ages.'  
  
'Going steady?' Malcolm was having difficulty following the  
conversation. It was about to get worse.  
  
'Going steady. You know, in a relationship, makin' out, fuckin' like  
bunnies. No offence,' he added, to the rabbit.  
  
'None taken,' the rabbit replied, moving on to washing behind its  
very large ears.  
  
'You can't be serious, Trip. I'm the head of security. I'd have  
noticed.'  
  
'No. You can blame Daniels for that. He keeps going back in time  
so each of their dates is the day before the last one. That way, each time is  
their first time. It's romantic, when you think about it.'  
  
'It's impossible!'  
  
'Just because you haven't noticed doesn't make it impossible, Mr.  
Head of Security,' Trip retorted. 'Though I think it is kinda tiring,  
judging by the way the cap'n's been falling asleep on the bridge lately.'  
  
Malcolm was still trying to get his head round the temporal  
mechanics of Daniels' sex-life when the Queen of Mean made her presence felt again.  
  
The cloud of smoke left by her departure finally reached the overhead  
sensors and throughout the strangely deserted engine room, all the  
sprinklers came on.  
  
Quick as a flash, Trip dashed to the control board and deactivated  
the system. The internal rainstorm stopped, leaving two very wet  
officers and one large, bedraggled, black rabbit.  
  
'Great,' Trip snarled. 'Now what are we going' to do.'  
  
'Get naked!'  
  
Trip looked at Malcolm as if he'd taken leave of his senses.  
  
'Get naked? Why?'  
  
'So we don't catch cold,' Malcolm explained. 'You know what a  
sensitive constitution I have. I can't stand around here in a soaking wet  
uniform.'  
  
'Malcolm, I don't pretend to know what the hell's goin' on here  
today. But one thing I do know. I am _not_ getting naked in the engine room  
with you!'  
  
'Oh, I don't know,' murmured the rabbit, with an evil, if rather  
damp, grin.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Tucker gave the rabbit a baleful glare and limped  
towards the exit hatch. "I'm not gettin naked with him. I'm goin' t'see  
Phlox!"  
  
"Trip," Malcolm said.  
  
"Whatever it is, I don't wanna hear it!" The engineer pulled open  
the hatch.  
  
"Trip why are you limping?"  
  
"Wha?" Tucker looked over his shoulder.  
  
"Well, you were bitten in the arm, but now you're limping." Reed  
pointed out.  
  
"Hell if ah know!" The engineer was developing a headache, and he  
didn't much care about anything other than seeing Phlox. "I'm goin  
t'sickbay, ya can either stay here, or come with me, I don't care either way!"  
  


* * *

  
"Hm very interesting," Phlox muttered as he ran a scanner over  
Tucker a few minutes later. "You appear to be suffering from a mild case of  
TBC'itis, complicated by an inflammation of the continuity impulse."  
  
"A what?" Tucker frowned and looked at the doctor in perplexity.  
  
"Ah...I see we've also got a good case of narrator’s three-dollar-worditis. This is serious, Commander."  
  
"Ay, leave me out of this," A voice, with a distinctly Australian  
accent spoke from nowhere. "I'm showing, not telling."  
  
"Who said that!" Tucker and Reed both looked up at the ceiling as  
they spoke in unison.  
  
"That's the narrator," Phlox replied matter-of-factly. "Herinafter  
not to be mentioned, since she has asked to be left out of this...probably a  
good thing, under the circumstances."  
  
"Okay..." Tucker rubbed his forehead with one hand. "So, this...TBC  
thing. What is that? And an inflammation of the..."  
  
"The continuity impulse," Phlox said. "Surely you know you have one?"  
  
"I didn't, till now...so how do we fix it?"  
  
"Well, since you say the symptoms appeared when you met a giant  
rabbit, and it bit you...while a red haired woman in a black cape was standing by  
watching...you're going to have to find them, and have _them_ fix it."  
  
"You mean...there isn't anythin' you can do?"  
  
"Nothing at all?" Reed stared at Tucker with lovelorn eyes. "I'm  
doomed to moon over a man who doesn't love me...who won't marry me, who hasn't even _asked_ me to? Until...we can make the Queen of Mean fix this?"  
  
"I'm afraid so, Lieutenant." Phlox nodded sympathetically. "I think  
perhaps you should also speak with Captain Archer...he and Daniels may have  
caused at least some of this...I tried to warn them that playing with the  
timeline like that could have grave consequences."  
  
Reed and Tucker looked at each other and shrugged.  
  
"Well, I suppose it's as good a place as any to start," Reed  
said. "But I want to get out of these damp clothes first."  
  
"Sure, whatever ya want," Tucker said. "As long as you get out of em  
anywhere but in the engine room!"  
  
Reed eagerly started to pull down the zip of his jumpsuit, then,  
noticed that Tucker was on his way out of sickbay.  
  
'Hey, wait for me,' he called, trotting after him. 'Where are you  
going?'  
  
'You heard Phlox. I'm goin' to see the cap'n and Daniels.'  
  
'What if they're...busy?'  
  
'Nah, that's always yesterday, remember? Anyhow, I don't care what  
they're doin'. I just wanna get this put right. Get us back in our right  
chapters, whatever that means, then we can work on putting a stop to this  
marryin' business.'  
  
Reed grabbed Tucker's arm, bringing him to a halt. 'You mean you  
don't _want_ to marry me?' he asked, shocked.  
  
'Ow!' Tucker yelped. 'Mind my arm.'  
  
'I thought it was your leg?'  
  
'You keep your hands off my leg! I don't know what's gotten into  
you, Malcolm. What happened to the shy, buttoned-up, Brit we all used to  
know and lo..., er admire?'  
  
'I wish I could remember,' Reed said, sadly. 'There's a big gap in  
my memory, a big happy gap by the sounds of it. I wish I could go back  
to _my_ storyline,' he finished, choking down a sob.  
  
'Can it, Malcolm. This isn't a _slash_ story.' Tucker started down  
the corridor again.  
  
'What?'  
  
'I said--'  
  
'Yes, I know what you said,' Malcolm interrupted, 'but what does it  
mean?'  
  
'How in hell do I know? I don't even know why I said it.'  
  
'Hello, me again.'  
  
'Oh shit!' the two men exclaimed, as the plot bunny hopped round the  
corner in front of them.  
  
'I thought we'd gotten rid of you,' Tucker muttered.  
  
'Oh no. You can never get rid of your plot bunny,' the rabbit said,  
with a self-satisfied smile. 'Unless you're in a PWP, of course,' it  
amended, fairly.  
  
'What's a PWP?' Reed asked.  
  
'You don't want to know,' the rabbit said. 'Well, actually, _you_  
might want to know. But _he_ certainly won't,' it added, waving a paw in Tucker's  
direction.  
  
'I don't care what it is,' Tucker said. 'If it means getting rid of  
you, I'll take it.'  
  
'You'll be sorry.'  
  
'Listen, I've been accosted in my engine room by a mad woman, I've  
been bitten on the arm, or possibly the leg, by a five foot rabbit, I've  
got a repressed Brit wantin' to marry me and my continuity impulse is shot to hell.  
How could it possibly be worse if we get rid of you?'  
  
'Yes,' said Reed, who hadn't missed the rabbit's suggestion that he  
might like a PWP. 'Just sod off and leave us alone.'  
  
'Oh well,' said the offended rabbit. 'If you insist.'  
  
An instant later, Tucker put a hand to his head and groaned as the  
scene shifted way too fast. "Whoa! I guess that's what happens when your  
continuity Impulse is on the Fritz. Uh...Malcolm...why are you lookin' at me  
like that and what the hell are we doin' in yer cabin?"  
  
"I believe, Commander, we are in the process of losing the plot. It  
would be a lot easier, if you disrobe."  
  
"Aw, shit..." Tucker began to understand what the rabbit meant a  
moment ago when it told him he would be sorry it if it left.  
  
"Hey! Hey, rabbit? Come back here!"  
  
"Now, now, Trip, you asked for this, so come over here and take your  
medicine like a good little engineery..."  
  
"Engineery?"  
  
"Look, I don't write the dialogue, I am merely forced to say it."  
Reed advanced on him.  
  
Tucker backed away. "Um...listen, Malcolm...I'm injured, see?" he  
showed the armoury officer his bandaged arm.  
  
"Oohh hurt/comfort! My favourite!" Malcolm pounced.  
  
"Help," Tucker squeaked, an instant before his lips were captured in  
a kiss that ... it was...um...well actually... Tucker thought, it was kinda nice.  
He kissed Reed back for a moment before he regained at least a shred of his mind.  
  
"Get offa me!"  
  
"Oh come on, Trip," Malcolm panted. "You liked that, admit it."  
  
"Well..." He didn't get any further. Reed, taking his tone of voice  
as capitulation, kissed him again. It was a kiss that went on... and  
on.... and on... and... finally Reed broke it off with an impatient growl and  
appealed to the ceiling. "Hey what's the matter with you?"  
  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
"I'm talking to you, Narrator...what's the hold-up?"  
  
Tucker looked at the ceiling expectantly, although he wouldn't admit  
it, he kinda wanted the answer to that question too.  
  
"I'm embarrassed," the same Australian accented voice replied as  
previously. "I don't **do PWP**."  
  
"Oh bloody fucking marvelous!" Reed let Tucker go. "So now what do  
we do?"  
  
"Heeeeere bunny, bunny, bunny!" the narrator called.  
  
"Sorry... back."  
  
Reed and Tucker turned to look at the Bunny with dismay.  
  
"Me too I'm afraid." The Queen of Mean arrived on the  
bunny's heels.  
  
"Right! Now we got you two back here." Tucker got in the Queen of Mean's  
face, "You gotta fix this!" .  
  
"Oh, if I only had a dollar for every time someone said _THAT_!" the  
Queen of Mean said wistfully.  
  
"I wanna go back to my own chapter...an' I want you to send him back  
to his."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I _can't_ is there something wrong with your hearing?" The queen  
turned away and paced to the window of Reed's quarters, looking out into  
space. "The bunny dictates and I write...There's nothing _I_ can do. The  
Bunny hasn't told me how to put you back... frankly I'm just waffling on to  
fill in space while I wait for him to come up with an idea."  
  
The bunny in question was lying on Reed's bunk, buffing his claws,  
seemingly uninterested in the three of them.  
  
Reed turned to look at him. "Why don't you do something?"  
  
"Not in the mood," The rabbit replied. "It's been simply _hours_  
since anyone gave me some bunny chow... in fact. I refuse to budge one word  
further until I _get_ some!"  
  
"Oh bloody typical..." The queen turned away from the window and  
looked at Tucker and Reed with a shrug. "Now... we wait."  
  
"Right, the narrator chimed in. "If you lot aren't going t'do  
anything I'm going to bed. S **ome** of us have to work tomorrow!"  
  
'Now whadda we gonna do?' Tucker asked.  
  
'We could go to bed too,' Reed said, hopefully. 'You know, until the  
bunny's in the mood again.'  
  
'Malcolm, you're not a bad kisser, I'll grant you that. But…' Tucker  
stepped back, raising his hands to ward off Reed, who'd surged towards him  
again, 'I am not goin' to bed with you, especially not with an audience.'  
  
'Oh, don't mind me,' the queen of mean said. 'Though if you're  
going to do it, I think you'll be on the floor,' she added, looking pointedly at  
the rabbit occupying Reed's bed.  
  
'We're not goin' to do it,' Tucker insisted. 'So, one of you better  
come up with somethin' else. And make it quick. I've got a headache.'  
  
'Story of my life,' Reed muttered, despondently. He turned to the Queen of Mean.  
'What does it eat, then?' he asked, nodding at the rabbit.  
  
'Oh, it doesn't want food. It doesn't _actually_ _eat_ , as such. It  
wants ideas, inspiration, something to work on for the next part of the  
story. You haven't got anything here it could use, have you?'  
  
'What sort of thing?'  
  
'You know, books, stories, great literature, music vids.'  
  
'Books. It needs Books?' Tucker said. 'It's in the right place  
then. Malcolm's always reading. This place is full of books.' He waved  
his hand towards the shelves over Reed's bed, all neatly stacked with padds.  
  
'These are books?' the bunny asked, perking up considerably and  
reaching up to grab a pawful.  
  
'Er, no, don't, not those!' Malcolm started, trying to grab the padds  
back.  
  
'Knock it off, Malcolm,' Tucker ordered. 'If it scratches your  
padds, I'll get you some new ones.'  
  
'It's not that-'  
  
'What? You're worried it's messing up your cataloguing system, not  
tossing them aside in alphabetical order? Just let the bunny read the damn  
things in the hope it can come up with an idea to get us out of this mess.'  
  
'It's not _that_ ,' Reed repeated. 'It's just that those aren't  
exactly great literature. That's my collection of gay porn it's got its paws  
on. And some of them are irreplaceable,' he added, rescuing padds as the rabbit  
scanned and dropped them.  
  
'Gay porn!' Tucker yelled, quickly snatching a padd out of the  
rabbit's grasp.  
  
'Hey, give that back. I was enjoying that. In fact, it's given me  
an idea.'  
  
The room fell silent as its other three occupants all turned to  
face the rabbit, waiting with bated breath.  
  
Suddenly Reed sneezed. Then he sneezed again.  
  
'Now, see what's happened?' he complained between sneezes. 'I told  
you I needed to get out of this wet uniform.' He pulled a handkerchief  
from a pocket and wiped his nose. 'Ugh. That's wet too. And I'm cold now. I  
really do need to get out of these things, and to warm up. I'm going for a  
shower,' he said, heading for his bathroom.  
  
'Well make it a cold one,' Tucker snapped, unkindly.  
  
'A shower's good,' the rabbit said. 'I've just read a shower scene.'  
  
Snuffling and sneezing, Malcolm ignored the rabbit's comment and  
closed the bathroom door. His eyes were watering, and his nose itched, he was  
probably having an allergic reaction to the rabbit hair as well, and now the  
bloody thing was on his bed...the bedding would be full of rabbit hair and  
he'd be miserable for days. Malcolm sniffed.  
  
Reed sobbed as he got out of his damp, clinging clothes and tossed  
them into the laundry hamper. He couldn't believe this was happening. Last  
night he'd gone to bed, snuggled against the warm body of his lover, Charles  
Tucker III and somehow, in the night, the engineer had not only fallen out of  
love with him, but seemed to not even remember ever being _in_ love with him.  
  
Turning on the water as hot as he could stand it, Reed stepped  
into the shower and ducked his head under the stream. It just wasn't fair.  
  
Why was it that the universe seemed always to conspire and deny him a chance at  
happiness?  
  
The water didn't feel right on his skin. Reed growled and shook his  
head. It felt like it was hitting his body through clothing.  
  
"Oh that's impossible," he told himself. "I took my clothes off  
before I got in..." and then he looked down to discover he was, in fact, clad in  
skivvies.  
  
"What?" Reed went so far as to touch them to make sure he really  
still had them on. "Oh god, not more of this continuity impulse crap!"  
  
"Malcolm?" A sleepy voice enquired from the bathroom doorway. "Why  
are you havin' a shower in the middle o’ the night?" Tucker poked his head  
through the doorway and was blinking at him none to happily. "In your  
_skivvies_ and mutterin on about impulses and..."  
  
"Trip?" Reed stared at the engineer in wonder. "MY Trip?"  
  
"Of course I'm Trip! You expectin' anyone else in yer bed at this  
time of night?"  
  
"In my bed!" Reed dashed out of the shower and made to hug Tucker,  
but the engineer stepped back.  
  
"Yer all wet, Malcolm!"  
  
"Yeah, I must've been walking in my sleep _and_ I was dreaming." He  
hesitated. "Wait, have you seen any rabbits in engineering lately?  
Big black one... it bit you." He studied Tucker's face carefully. "Or a woman  
in a black cloak... long red hair?"  
  
"Rabbits in... Malcolm are you feelin' okay?"  
  
"Yes! Never better! Now, you're my Trip, in my bed and you want to  
marry me..."  
  
Tucker's mouth dropped open. "Wait, back up a minute. I wanna..."  
  
"Marry me."  
  
"Well, that's gotta be the _weirdet_ marriage proposal I ever _did_  
hear." Tucker grinned. "Are ya serious? You're askin me t'marry you?"  
  
"I'm serious, Trip." Reed said solemnly as he got down on one rather  
wet knee in front of the engineer. "Charles Tucker the third, will you  
honor me by becoming my husband?"  
  
"Well, you sure took yer time." Tucker reached for Malcolm's hand  
and pulled him to his feet. "I'll marry ya. In fact, if ya hadn't asked  
me by tomorrow night, I was gonna ask _you_."  
  
Reed blushed. "Well, I intended to at dinner last night, but I lost  
my nerve and... oh God! No wonder I had nightmares!"  
  
"Well, I did try t'warn ya not to eat Hoshi's chocolate velvet  
cake... we don't call her the Queen a Mean fer nothin' ya know."  
  
"The Queen of Mean." Reed chuckled. "Well, that explains _her_." He  
frowned, "But where did the rabbit come from?"  
  
"Rabbit?" Tucker laughed. "I think I mighta called you 'my  
bunnykins' just before ya drifted off t'sleep," Tucker admitted shyly, "and ya said  
if ya were a rabbit you were a black one... big and black with fangs n  
talons, ya said."  
  
Reed shook his head and this time he made a determined grab for his  
husband to be. "Well, however it happened, I'm glad it did. We got back to  
our own chapters... and I get to marry the engineer!"  
  
They kissed, and this time, Tucker didn't push Reed away.  
  
When it was over, Tucker smiled up at his lover. "Ya know, if this  
is the outcome? Ya oughta have nightmares more often."

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

>  **Glossary of Terms:**  
>    
> Bunnies/Plot Bunnies: A colloquial name in fandom for the ideas that come hopping up to a writer and “bite’er”, thus inspiring a story. These can be fluffy pink, white, black, or any other damn color they choose.
> 
> Queen of Mean: A nickname (well earned) for KalKasar in Fannish circles.
> 
> TBC…: To Be Continued. A nefarious plot device used by said Queen of Mean to torture her readers with bloody annoying Cliff Hangers!
> 
> PWP: Plot? What Plot?/ Porn Without Plot – a tag put on some works which is well, kinda self-explanatory when you get _right down to it_ <\-- See what I did there?


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